Part 1

I bought books today from authors I never heard of

I bought clothes yesterday for places I will never go

Because isn't that something people do when they are sad?

Buy meaningless items to fill the void that someone else made, regardless if it was intentional or not

For fear of being questioned, you tell the cashier your "plans" before they can say your total--$78.36

You smile, insert your chip, and repeat

Because being comforted by materialistic things instead of human interactions numbs the pain better

Until your emotions materialize into the purchases you’ve made

And you have no room to feel anymore

Reality sets in when you realize that the only space that is not yet filled is the void

The void that someone else left inside of you


Part 2

I still wrap myself in your cover in hopes of finding warmth, but only to be met with loneliness

I lay my head on your pillow in hopes it will be able to wipe my tears away, instead of catching them

I spray your perfume on me to mask the scent of depression

I even started wearing your clothes

Because maybe if I looked like someone else, I wouldn't have to be me

My therapist tells me I should talk about it

My friends tell me I should talk about it

Even my family tells me I should talk about it

But how am I supposed to talk, when before I can get a word out, my heart begins to break for the millionth time

And a tear rolls down my face, faster than my lips can form the words, "I'm hurting"

Keena White